It's Never Goodbye
by Akashicchi-ssu
Summary: He was Switch now, not Kazuyoshi. But, it seems that a certain brunette would change his way of thinking. Kazuyoshi x Sawa (T just in case)


**Me: So, I rewatched the whole Sket Dance, and I just couldn't get enough of Kazeyoshi's back story T^T So, here's a fanfic based on it!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Sket Dance. If I did, Agata would be all mine~, and Michiru would be my personal chef and my bro.**

 **-.-.-.-.-**

It was a Sunday, and he had nothing to do, as he had declined Bossun's offer to go to the mall with him and Himeko. A part of Switch said that it was because he wanted them to be alone together, so that they're relationship could progress, because _everyone_ could tell that those two had feelings for each other, well, except for those two. But, deep down, Switch knew that it wasn't _truly_ because of that.

He stood in front of the black gates, and parts of them were rather rusted already. He took one step forward, but hesitated.

Why should he? Wasn't it that the reason he became Switch was to have at least some traces of Masafumi in this world? If he went there, he'd just be accepting that Masafumi had already ceased to exist.

His grip on his computer tightened. His other foot was itching to take a step forward, but he refused to give in.

So he stood there, conflicted, until he finally gave in.

He walked forward slowly, but stiffly.

 _Turn back. Leave. Turn back. Leave!_

But he couldn't. He's already made it this far.

 _Just turn around and walk away!_

But his eyes were focused on the grey stone tablet just a few steps away from him.

 _Don't look. Don't look!_

But he did.

Masafumi Usui

April 23 20XX – MM/DD 20XX

A loving brother,

 _That he was._

A loving friend,

 _That he was._

And a loving son.

"That he was…" Kazeyoshi said, finally taking off the glasses, and holding the computer in one hand. His voice wasn't like before, which was probably because he had stopped speaking a long time ago.

"An…chan?"

Her voice.

It was _her_ voice.

Kazeyoshi turned his head to the left and saw her there – Sawa.

She was as pretty as he remembered, if not prettier. Her hair was longer, and she was remarkably taller, but a part of her eyes were devoid of emotion.

"Sawa…" he replied with his own voice, making her give him a small smile.

"How have you been… An-chan?" Sawa asked him, as she lay down a bouquet of flowers on Masafumi's grave.

"Fine…" Kazeyoshi replied. "And you?"

"Fine, as well…" Sawa said, her voice cracking slightly.

"You know, I've known you for a long time," Kazeyoshi started. "It's best that you don't lie to me."

"Lie to you…?" Sawa gasped, her eyes starting to fill with tears. "You're the one who's lying!"

Her exclamation had shocked Kazeyoshi, whose eyes widened as Sawa continued to shout at him.

"You never cried during the funeral! You never cried when anyone mentioned him! How can you say that you're fine? Even if you never showed any tears… I know you're still hurting!" Sawa exclaimed, not bothering to wipe away the tears in her eyes. "Don't lie to yourself!"

"I'm no—"

"Even though you may look like Switch right now, you're still the Kazeyoshi Usui I now!"

Sawa dropped to her knees, crying.

And then he, too, started crying. For what reason, he didn't know. Maybe it was because his first love was crying in front of him… but maybe it was because she still saw him as Kazeyoshi, as her An-chan, as the one who looked for her and Switch when they got lost during the festival, as the one who said he wasn't her brother, as the one who didn't arrive in time…

Kazeyoshi looked up as the tears fell down his face. "Do you have an umbrella? It's starting to rain, you know…"

Sawa looked up at him with disbelief. It wasn't raining. But she had seen the tears fall from his eyes as they dropped down to the ground.

 _He was still hurting._

"Yeah, it is, but I don't have an umbrella…" she said, standing up shakily as she wrapped her arms around him, burying her head in his chest.

He wanted to hug her back, but was he allowed to? He was just her An-chan, and such a gesture could pass of as brotherly, but he knew that he could never see her as a little sister. If he hugged her, he would give in to his emotions – Kazeyoshi's emotions. But he couldn't. He was Switch now. …Right?

He glanced at the tombstone, where Masafumi's name was written.

No. Masafumi was gone. Masafumi was really gone.

Maybe he could give in, just this once. Just this once, he could be Kazeyoshi again.

He hugged her back, resting his head on hers, letting the tears flow – willingly, this time.

And they stayed like that for a long time.

-.-.-.-.-

When they broke away from each other, it was rather late, and Sawa was wiping the tears away from her eyes.

"Ne, An-chan… do you remember the day when I left?"

Yes, oh, yes, he did.

"What about it?" he asked, staring at the ground, wondering where this was going.

"Well, I…" Sawa was reluctant to continue, so she changed her mind and said something else. "Do you like someone else already?"

He was surprised. He hadn't expected that. "No, why?"

"I remember just saying a 'I did, too' or a 'Me, too'. I never did keep in touch after that…" Sawa said with a sigh. "I was just… wondering if you've moved on?"

Had he? Definitely not.

Himeko and Bossun had teased him before about him and Momoka being so 'perfect' for each other. He wouldn't deny that Momoka was quite attractive and was nice, when she wasn't beating up Bossun, but… Perhaps, he would have had real feelings for Momoka, and not just a simple attraction or anything, if he had not known Sawa… if he had not grown up with Sawa… if he had not loved Sawa.

"I haven't," he said truthfully.

She glanced at him. "I haven't too."

"From what?"

 _Was it not moving on after Masafumi's death? Or was it perhaps…_

"Both…" Sawa said. "I still have feelings for you, An-chan."

He was surprised, and he felt that tingling sensation that he always felt before, whenever Sawa was around. "I'm going to tell you right now that you really should have moved on and not caused yourself so much pain."

She had taken it as rejection, as a fresh set of tears streamed down her face. "I… I k-know, but… I… c-couldn't… and…"

Kazeyoshi was startled when she had started crying. _Did she think that I didn't like her back?_

He reached out for her face, and gently wiped her tears away. "You didn't let me finish, Sawa…"

She looked up at him, her eyes filled with a hint of hope.

"That is what I really wanted for you to do, because you had so much to deal with – living in a new place, getting over Masafumi's death, having feelings for me even though we may not see each other again…" Kazeyoshi said. "But… like what you told me a while ago… I'm not going to lie to myself anymore. Masafumi is… dead. I will accept that. And I'm going to start over as Kazeyoshi again."

She wasn't crying anymore, as he continued, "That's why…"

He leaned closer and kissed her. She stiffened before returning it.

 _That's why… I'm going to give in to my own feelings… be my own person again… be Kazeyoshi Usui again…_

They could sort this whole thing out later. All he cared about at the moment was kissing her – his first love, Kazeyoshi Usui's first love.

 **-.-.-.-.-**

 **Me: O~kay, that was probably pretty crappy, since I'm doing this at one in the morning and so… I hope you guys liked it? Eh. Review please~!**


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